We often don't realise it, but children are extremely sensitive. They pick up signals, and even thoughts, that we might try to hide or fail to express. They pick up on every difference between what we say, do, and who we're being. And they are especially sensitive to our moods and our intentions.

Children are often compared to little angels. Did you ever wonder why? It is not just that they are small, or look really cute - it's that they are a beautiful example of unconditional love. They love us regardless of what we do, they follow us wherever we go, trusting that we will take care of them. Because children are so dependant of us, they primarily want our love and respect - it is connected to their survival. If mummy is angry with them, she might take off and never come back, or in some other way threaten the feeling of safety a young child needs. In order to have that safety, children will do almost anything.

Emotions are healthy
Children also possess a quality that we lost somewhere in our childhood: purity. They have a very clear sense of what they need and want. They do not manipulate the way adults do. If a child wants an ice cream, it will cry and cry, and make a scene, to express their wishes and desires. It does not realise, not care about, the way this will look to others, nor will it be embarrassed. The problem is, mummy might feel very embarrassed and get angry. She might tell the child to shut up, she might even yell at the child if it doesn't listen. And you can just imagine how unsafe that will make the child feel.

One thing we have thus learned from our parents very early on in life, is that it is not a good idea to express your emotions. Other people don't like it if you make noise, if you cry, if you scream. Survival is at stake if we ever get angry. So we learn to suppress our emotions, which in turn will cloud our judgement. How can you judge a situation if you don't know what you feel? How can you spot danger if you don't allow yourself to feel scared? [...]